We grow up with an idealized version of what motherhood is like. It seems like being a mom is the absolute best thing that could ever happen to a human and every second is a treasure to keep in your heart for ever. And it can be exactly like that… sometimes. Sometimes it sucks, though. And you are allowed to complain. It doesn’t mean you regret motherhood or that you love your children any less. It just means you have bad days. Like everybody else. Because you are human too.
You are allowed to have bad days
Don’t believe the mommy blogs and books on parenting. Being a mom does not mean you have to be euphoric about it every second of every day. There are things that are simply not meant to be treasured. Your baby’s first smile is a wonderful memory that will never leave your heart. Your baby’s 85th dirty diaper? Not so much. And don’t listen to parents of older kids saying “you will miss these days when they are gone”. Sure, you might feel nostalgic once in a while, but as your baby grows, he will face new challenges and it will be just as exciting to follow him along. So no, having a bad day now does not mean that you have wasted 24 hours of the most precious time you’ll ever get to live. Tomorrow is a new day, you can treasure things then.
It doesn’t mean you are a bad parent
You can love your children and still daydream about sending them to a boarding school when you discover they redecorated your living room with their new Super Soakers filled with paint. It doesn’t mean you love them any less and it certainly doesn’t mean that you will actually send them to a boarding school. Although maybe telling them you will might make them help you with the clean-up. You can be a good mother and be satisfied with your life even if one night you feel bad because you wanted to go out with friends, but the baby sitter is not available. Being a parent enriches your life and it adds a lot of things to your daily life. But it also mean sacrificing some things too. Pretending there is no trade-off at all will not help you cope. Accept there are things you might have to give up or sacrifice and allow yourself to feel bad for that loss. Pamper yourself, give yourself time and space to breathe. Tomorrow will be a new day and you will have more energy to treasure all those moments.